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My personal battle with inferiority and “comparisonitis”

Written by Bob Regnerus

I’ve battled all my life (from early elementary school all the way into my 40’s) with inferiority.

I was a skinny, asthmatic, under-sized kid all the way through my sophomore year in high school. As a highly competitive sports fanatic, I was always out-sized, out-muscled, out-performed by kids who had different genetics than me. I wanted to be awesome at baseball and basketball, but my physicality could never match my mentality.

While I finally hit my growth spurt at 16, it was a little late to be an athletic star in high school. Yeah, I finally made teams, but I was not a major contributor to the team most seasons. I was passed up skill-wise by others who had been playing on teams for a number of years when I wasn’t.

The inferiority complex went dormant for a number of years because all through college and my 20’s, I was a superior performer in athletic endeavors, both as a coach and as a participant. I excelled in my first few jobs, earning top tier reviews and getting promoted faster than my peers. I was oozing confidence and ability.

It was that confidence and ability that led me to venture on my own. I started well out of the gate and my consulting business was humming.

Then I got attracted into the world of direct marketing and personally met some extremely successful marketers like Dan Kennedy, Bill Glazer, Yanik Silver, Ryan Deiss, Ali Brown, Frank Kern, John Reese, and Perry Marshall. Suddenly, I realized I wasn’t a big fish, I was more like a guppy in a sea of sharks and whales. Wow. Big time eye-opener.

Some of these folks I listed, I became a “fan”. Some of the people sat beside me in a private coaching group. Some of these people became my clients in my marketing agency. But no matter what the relationship, I realized that I was catapulted back into grammar school where I once again to battle inferiority and a new word I coined, “comparisonitis“.

I internally wondered why someone would listen to me or worse yet hire me when they could hire Perry Marshall or Ali Brown, or any one of a number of other marketers I listed. I doubted my own abilities and expertise. I never fully had confidence in my ability to solve a marketing problem for a client, even though I never had a problem that was so complex I didn’t have at least a suggestion for my client.

A short time ago, I was at a meeting with Perry Marshall, and one little phrase ignited a mental battle inside of me. Perry has become a friend over the past few years, and at this event, he introduced me to a couple people as a “Ninja Marketer“. I was honored, but those two little words really started a battle in my mind. I guess I didn’t believe it myself, so I wondered why Perry or anyone else could possibly believe it.

It’s only been within the past year that I’ve managed to win that battle in my mind and come to the understanding that there’s room for me, Perry, Ali, and thousands of other sharp marketing consultants and coaches. I just need to be who I am and project my message into the market. Those that are attracted and connect with me will be served well because I know I can help them in some very specific areas. There’s plenty of room for everyone.

It’s a battle for your personal identity, ladies and gentleman. It’s war over your future. I’m not magically telling you to suddenly stop comparing yourself to anyone else…what I’m suggesting is that little by little you start to own your expertise and be transformed day by day into the person you were destined to be. The crisis of confidence and identity is all part of the plan that ultra-successful people will go through. Don’t fret it. Don’t wish it away. It’s part of your training and what will shape you into the world changer you are destined to be.

Go out and win that battle!

I’d enjoy if you left me your comments and reactions on Twitter (@BobRegnerus) or Facebook (AuthorBobRegnerus)

Bob.

 

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